Don’t try so hard. I repeat Don’t Try So Hard. Seems silly, but for you it is anything but. You try too hard love. Too hard to be sane. Too hard to be happy. Too hard to be peaceful. Too hard to be loved. Too hard to be noticed. Too hard to be seen.To hard to be…
Stop. You don’t have to try so hard to be these things. You just have to try, and give life and time the room they need to teach you what happiness, peace, love, friendship, and just being means to you. You don’t have to be perfect and you don’t have to have it all together. You are human, therefore you are beautifully flawed and imperfectly made. There is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with you.
Stop trying so hard to be in control of everything. You can’t control anything or anyone but yourself. You can’t change anyone but yourself either. You have to stop trying to stretch yourself in so many directions. Go your own way. Go in the direction of your choosing. Live the life you imagine. Make your little slice of heaven in this world.
Stop waiting for the perfect moment. It will never arrive. There are no perfect moments sweetheart. We choose our moments and I want you to start choosing yours and start choosing now. Time will not wait for you and I don’t want you to miss out on your life because you’ve been patiently waiting on the sidelines thinking you have to stay there. You don’t have to sit this life out, your life out. You have a whole field in front of you for you to discover and run around in. It is there for you, let your feet press down on the earth and then start running, start discovering, and never stop.
Your happiness is not limited to a certain place or person or job. It is more than those tangible things. Your happiness is a choice you make every single day to find beauty in daily things. To choose peace over chaos, smiles over frowns, and mostly understanding that there is no happiness without a little sadness. Do not dwell in the things that make you sad. Your sadness is a part of you, but you have to choose not to let it consume you. You are more than your ghosts or the shadows you’ve been in.
My dear, I know you think you are not a good person. That for some reason you are damaged goods, and I truly believe only time and love will show you that you are neither broken or unreachable. There is so much beauty inside of you. There is so much light and so much good. Yes, you screw up, but who doesn’t. You are going to screw up. You are going to make a mess of things. You are going to hurt too, but that doesn’t mean you are a horrible person. It is what you choose to do and to make of these less than stellar moments that will matter the most.
Choose to learn from them. Choose to not belittle yourself because of them. Choose to understand and respect your imperfections and faults. Choose to see that weakness is not something to be ashamed of. Choose to acknowledge and then move past them. Choose to forgive yourself because my love we all lack, we all stumble, we all fall and you are no different. You do not have to berate yourself for your humanity. Choose to keep trying, keep living, keep discovering, keep hoping despite everything and everyone that makes you feel that it isn’t worth it.
You are always worth it. Don’t settle for people who will make you feel less than that. You are not less and you don’t deserve less. That person who made you feel so high and then brought you down so low is not the beginning nor the end of you. He is one chapter, one long and complicated chapter, but one chapter none the less in your book of life. Don’t let him stain the other ones. This is your book of life; written with your hands and spoken with your mouth. Write. Speak. Don’t let one person, no matter how much you loved him take away the life you’ve been given to live.
Do not fight your sorrow or run from your anger. Facing those things are the bandages your heart and soul need. That is how you are going to fully heal and recover from the mess he made of you.
I need you to know and understand that you didn’t do anything wrong. YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG. He made his choice, and you have to choose to move on and keep living and loving. There is someone in this vast and far reaching world that will love you beyond what you deserve. He is out there and you have to stop clinging to what ended so you can start with new beginnings. Love is out there, and it will not abandon you. Trust in yourself and all you have to offer. That big and beautiful heart of yours was woven to love and be loved. Don’t let one person make you cold and unfeeling. That is not you and it never will be.
If I could reach inside myself and hug you till the sadness bleeds out of your soul I would. I would not hesitate to, but all I can do is write these words and pray that they become the arms that wrap around you and bring warmth to your shivering soul. That my sincerity becomes the bandages and medicines for your aching heart. We are in this together, and we will not be defeated.
Always remember you are not alone in this. Loneliness and sadness do not have to be your companions throughout your life. You will find your way, and knowing you, you’ll end up making one. Don’t be afraid of the fire and art inside of you. Don’t ever try to be someone or something you are not because you are wasting the beauty and talent that is you. Create your world, and your life in a collage of you.
I love you, every flawed and scarred inch of you.
Beyond always and forever, I love you.